Silent Prayer For Faith Astrayed

"Itna Aadar Insaan To Kya, Pathhar Bhi Pooje Jaate Hain", are the famous lines from manoj kumar's Purab Aur Paschim , depicting India's cultural heritage & religious mindset of the Indians.

Although there are numerous religion in India, but 82% of India's population follows Hinduism. And the above lines holds good for Hindu religion only. This religious nature of Indians has been sought to give them mental peace, social unity & stress free lifestyle, in which western countries are far behind us.


India may be among top ten in the chart for crimes, rapes, murders & corruption (total number, not per capita), but it don't find any position in the chart for teenage pregnancy, divorce rate, abortion ratio. Which I believe is because we have a blind faith in our religion and we follow our sculptures.


Did you notice that I am contradicting myself with the title i have chosen? no, I am not. I am neither atheist nor agnostic, but i see the religion with a different perspective. And due to which today i strongly want to condemn the precious gifts, the richest temple in the world, tirupati gets every year. Every year The richest god becomes more richer by kilos of gold & precious stones presented by business tycoons & infamous politicians.

I don't have stats to prove that none of it goes to society welfare, but one thing i am sure of that lord venkateshwara won't enjoy the diamond crown on His head if many of His disciple struggle for one time meal. Today Lord venkateshwara possess the jewellery worth Rs 50000 crores in His treasure, which is guarded by cctv cameras and comes out once in a year.


He would have been much proud of them if Instead of crowning Him with diamond & gold, they create jobs for poor, schools for orphans & medication for diseased one. Today we are worshipping the Pather, but we have forgot our responsibility towards poor. I am sure tirumala trust would be having some or the other such organization for serving poor, but these hefty gift item are definitely not serving any purpose other than decorating some stone. Does any faith needs attractive gods? Does your love for your spouse demands physical beauty? of course not, these are the feelings, which should not get affected by material things.


I am by no means against the worshiping of god in the temple, I myself goes once in a week, because it keeps my faith alive, it gives me peace. But I prefer to serve Him by serving someone in need.


PS: please try to forgive me, if someone's believe is hurt by this sensitive topic.

papa!!! where can i float my boat?

Today is worlds environment day. And I am tempted to acknowledge it either by doing something or by promising something.

Yesterday Bangalore witnessed heavy rain for short amount of time. We were on the cafeteria, enjoying the rain, watching the road jam on bannerghatta road and noticing the water flowing by the sidewalks. There was enough water on cafeteria floor so we took some pages and started making paper boat.

After lots of hits & trials we could make everything but boat. By the time we could have asked someone how to make it, rain stopped & water from cafeteria was dragged away by the sweeper. And our desire to bring back memory from our childhood went to trash.

Later that night i was thinking about those good old days when i used to bother my sister to make a boat for me so that i can follow the same on the sloppy road ,when i used to pray for rain to happen for a mere rainy day holiday or when i used to demand for onion pakoras to enjoy the rain and when i wanted to get wet in the rain accidentally.

Now when i can afford kukure to enjoy the rain, i can ask a child to make a boat for me, i am free to get wet as much as i want & i can enjoy the rain at home by applying the leave online, rain doesn't lasts for that long.

Last year Bangalore faced power crisis because of decreasing water level in the river. This year also i suppose this is going to happen. While in west Bengal cyclone named Aila left 140 people dead & thousands affected, monsoon is expected to reach in UP & Bihar quite late this year too. Like every year this year also some of the states will face drought & some will be washed away with flood.

Although many of us don't give a damn about monsoon ,flood or drought, because as long as we are inside our flat situated in a metropolitan city and as long as pizza are available on our door steps, we can enjoy these natural calamities also on TV. We generally expresses our concerns on global warming, ozone depletion, solar variation but we do very little to save our precious environment.

I have decided that from now onward I wont be asking for polythene whenever i go to more or nilgiri. And I am goin to ask all the banks to send a ecopy instead of hard copy of my monthly statements.

I don't know what you can do to save your environment, but whatever it is, find that out before its too late, because you can not buy rain or the excitement you child can attain by floating a paper boat.

A beautiful Nightmare

Hi frnds, bear with yet another love story. now i understood why all bollywood movies have this concept , because its easy to find one, easy to think & easy to co-relate with someone. All the characters in this plot are fictional & there is nothing to do with any dead or alive man.



David is rewinding all those movies with time travel theme in his mind. He imagines to meet some crazy physicist from the future who lends him his time travel machine, then he goes back in time & changes the sequence of events that led to Sebastien's wedding with john, which is a part of business deal between their parents.

He ask himself, "Is it some sort of tradition that a businessman father go for another businessman or businessman's son, an actor for another actor, a government servant for government employee, a politician for minister's son ...".

He continues, "What kind of myth is it, that all parents follow the concept of INTRA ie intra cast, intra religion, intra profession, intra state marriage. Why do they impose all these restrictions on marriages? Dont they know that love & hate dont have any boundaries? Why don't they let their children find their partner on their own? May be I can't understand them because I have not experienced that situation yet."

David's love for Sebastien has always been unconditional & one sided, but when he expressed, it was too late for him. Sebastien was already in the business game of her father. David is more happy for Sebastien wedding then being sorry for himself. he always wished the best for her, and for that sake only he kept himself back when Sebastien told him about her wedding.

Today Sebastien is looking even more gorgeous in white wedding attires with a veil of net. David, being the best man chosen by Sebastien, welcomes her with a bouquet of flowers & accompanies her till the stage. John is eagerly waiting to have a look at her as today he was not allowed to see her or even talk her before the wedding. David is standing right behind the couple, constantly watching his love being stolen. Volcano of sorrow is about to burst inside but he is smiling for outside world. He is trying hard not to let his emotions bulge out, that's why when ever she looks at him, he changes his gaze. David is capturing Sebastien in his handy camera for the last resort for his loneliness.

After reading holy lines from Bible Father declares john & Sebastien husband & wife, then they lock their lips, David screams & finds himself in his bed. "Oh! my Gosh that was a dream, but soon it will be a reality", thought David & went back to sleep.



PS: this article lacks the marriage description of a Christen wedding, as i got a chance to see them only in movies.

Fwd Story....2nd Edition

Waves are hitting the shore destroying the homes made by crabs. Earth seems to slide beneath Suparna when the salty alkaline water moves away from her. Her jeans is completely wet & sandy. She don't want to go beyond that, but her husband is calling her from a distance of 4-5 meters. Foreigners in two piece can be seen having their good time deep down the sea. Few are taking sunbath & their children are playing games like disk-throw and volleyball. Suparna is on her honeymoon trip to goa with suhaas on a one week package. Last Monday she got married to Suhaas, a handsome guy with a smart pay scale.

Two months back suparna's father found out about suhaas, a simple guy belonging to a high class family in the same cast, not indulge in smoking & drinking, highly educated & manager in reputed software company. After that Suhaas & Suparna met once in a highly formal meeting in which they discussed about their likes & dislikes. When it takes years for people to understand each other, isn't it unfair to decide your life partner in an hour meet?

Suparna always believed in friendship until the day her father brought the marriage proposal. "Why..but why i didn't let any boy come closer to me", suparna had asked this question many times in the last one month.

How can they send me to goa with someone they hardly know. They always asked tens of questions before any group trip. Now what made them to think I would be all safe with suhaas? Is it like they handed over their responsibility of guarding me or something in me, to suhaas & for which they are no longer bothered at all? Suhaas is enjoying, getting hit by the waves, he is cool but I don't like him because i don't know him. He may be pretending to be good. who knows whether the devil inside him can be trusted or not? Is he calling me to drown in the water? Last time i came here with all my friends, I enjoyed all of it, but i am not willing to believe some god damn guy just because he is my husband. Suparna's thoughts scambled when suhaas threw some water on her face.

"are you afraid of water?, come you are safe as long as i am with you, enjoy it suparna, take it easy", suhaas said. He is now facing me, all wet, in swim wear. "Look i think you are still not ready to accept me as your husband, so let me put it in simple. I can understand your situation because i was also not ready for this marriage. Family reputation & ideals prevented me to choose a girl by myself. I didn't want to hurt my parents by marrying on my own, after all they have their dreams", suhaas said sitting beside me, "But now when we have married, we have plenty of time to understand each other & make our marriage stable & happy. Apart from going along with this we don't have any option left, so better live with it & make it happen. so tell me, will you love me? will you trust me?"

"Ok!Ok! geek, yes i will. what option life has left for me too ", suparna thought & hugged him.

PS: visiting the blog is free & Comments are most welcome

A Girl Can Change UR Life

[prologue] Right from your birth, you come in touch with many girls. They impact your life drastically but still you don't notice it because you go along with it. Here i have tried to summarize the impact a girl can impose on your life as a mother, sister, teacher, friend, wife & daughter.

A girl , when give you birth, you come to life.

A girl , when tie a thread, you get responsibilities in life

A girl , when pulls your ear, you vow to sucess in life.

A girl , when leave your house,you get the pain of life.

A girl , when come into your life,you find the love of life.

A girl , when dumps you,you experience the shock of life.

A girl , when marry you, you get the companion of life.

A girl , when hold your fingers,you have the new purpose of life.

[epilogue] Girls affects our life in numerous ways but we renounce this fact & live in our self made man centric world. Although today girls are paving their way to all fields, competing men, but deep inside many of us dont like this in our day to day life. Why do husband want to dominate over wives? why boys want more chocolate than their sister? why girl have to bring dowry with them? and most importantly why couple want to abort the girl fetus? The fact is that we need the girls more than they need us.

PS: All critics please ignore my logical mistake of a girl giving birth, for that i would say that women is nothing but a married girl.

PS: visiting the blog is free & Comments are most welcome.

Yes Girl

Eve belonged to a YES family where nobody knew, how to say no. Eve inherited a habit of saying YES to all those things/activities that she could afford to do.

In her school days, she used to spend all her pocket money on her friends because she could never deny them. That's when she learned lying just to avoid yes. She unwillingly wasted a lot of her time gallivanting with her friends.

She envied biology, but her family wanted her to see as a doctor so she got herself enrolled into some medical college, leaving behind her passion for mathematics.

In her college days, just to avoid no, she started becoming invisible on the gtalk. In her teenage she could not deny to any of boys asking her for date without losing anything.

She couldn't refuse to her father for the first wedding proposal he brought & got married. All the boys who dated felt sorry for her.

Her children loved her because she allowed them to do whatever they asked, but after few days they stopped asking and started assuming yes in response.

She always pleased everyone but in return she never got recognition, respect, love & identity. Moreover by saying yes to everyone she screwed up all her life.

Eve is not a girl or a women ,she is an epitome of attitude that many among us show from time to time in our daily routine.

Moral of the story is "say yes or say no, but say immediately & that too on the face, don't say the opposite of what you have in your mind"

Link to blog

sush got married..was the summer of '09

In my two years of abode in south city of India, I have witnessed three marriages. I attended two from groom's side & one from bride's side.

This labour’s day I went to attend the marriage of my colleague friend sushmita's (name changed) marriage. Prior to going there i had to decide the gift which was tough as well as boring for the kiddie like me. None of my friends (including girls) gave any suggestion.

Because of the fact that Sushmita is so thin that a little more advanced propeller will lift her in the air, the very first thought for the gift which swept around my head was the protienx, boost or horlicks. But you cannot give that in someone's wedding. Finally i decided something, which later on I realised, was more appropriate for girls rather than women & as marriage is a state conversion process from girl to women, all i could do was to feel sorry.

I am a little paranoid about what others think about me, so i preferred not to attend the reception (ie why I fear of my own marriage as well). I always liked to be a silent spectator rather than a cheer leader. At last I finalised on attending the marriage ceremony to witness the rituals of a wedding in kannada fashion, which was supposed to be carried out at 8:30 in the morning. I sacrificed my morning sleep & got up at 6am.

Defying my expectations Sushmita noticed me within five minutes of my arrival, although i tried not to distract her attention from the most crucial turn of her life. From the mandap (stage) only she somehow informed her brother about my presence, who then humbly showed me the way to hospitality services. After enjoying breakfast, for the next two hours i kept watching the rituals closely as if someday i have to perform them in an interstate wedding of mine.

Sushmita was dressed in white & during the rituals they made her stand on a rose, made up of card board, which reminded me of goddess sarashwati as we see in pictures. I guess south marriages don’t have seven rounds around the fire. Couple lived up every moment while sprinkling rice of different colours & other stuffs on each other’s faces.

Marriages in south are very simple. In place of orchestra & bands they have classical instruments. In place of spicy food they serve simple daily food. In place of sherwani & suits groom wear simple dhoti. And above all you will find the couple enjoying their wedding, which is something north marriages (conventional) are really missing.

North Indian brides are bound to be serious in their wedding to express the grief of leaving her parents & mingling to an unknown world of strangers. Similarly north Indian grooms are forced not to enjoy their marriage so that their excitement of getting married is not leaked out.

It was a great fun as well as learning experience to attend a kannada marriage, because for me this is the best way to come across the vast Indian culture.

Youth For Seva

My sole purpose to write this post is to spread the awareness about some good activity going on in our society which your eyes might not have noticed yet. But in the beginning you have to bear me with my life.

The environment of BNSD Shiksha Niketan, the games I played in SHAKHA, the tution of PRAN sir has inculcated a seed of social service inside me.

Being backed by RSS (Rashtriya swayamsevak sangh), in BNSD we used to listen & present on stage the inspirational stories of great personalities. We used to celebrate birthday of various freedom fighters, social workers, saints and a lot many others. The good thing was we were only focusing only on their bright side. We were taught about our culture, duties for society, Desh Prem, respect for women, self confidence & all that which are considered as rubbish & bullshit by today's teen.

I was part of SHAKHA, an effort by RSS to make kids sporty. There i used to play games with all the kids of the locality.

I came across PRAN sir, a IIT-JEE physics teacher, who not only made physics interesting but also told us about his contribution to society.

All this made me a little more inclined towards society. I wished i could remove poverty, illiteracy & fill the gap between 80% poor and 20% rich Indians. But i never acted because so people around me had their own dreams depending on me & fulfilling them was part of my duty.

In college I went to government school & slum once with seniors. Many times i was misled by various, so called wise professionals that all these NGO's & social work is a money making business. Let it be, but if you don't want to get corrupted nobody can force you.

After coming to Bangalore frankly speaking i never got time to think over it. But all of a sudden but silently someone came into my life & ignited the cold dying fire inside of me. Recession was crippling our economy & I was busy earning bread & butter. Then someone told me about YFS (Youth For Seva). You get boost up when you see someone as capable as you is able to do something, you had been frightening for years.

Today i went to YFS meeting, I went there with the perception that most of the crowd will comprise of government servants, local BA/BSc graduates but upto my surprise i saw many advanced young professionals. The crowd was no other than the crowd of FORUM mall. you know what is signifies, it proves that a part of the 20% capable population of India is willing to change the life of the rest 80%.

I fall into that 5% population who earn more than 5 lpa. I can lose thousands of rupees in stock market but i can never think of sponsoring a child's education, arranging meals for kids, donating for orphans/old people or even donate blood. But i can happily give my time & labour to the society through YFS.

In the end I just want to say one dialogue from the movie Spiderman "with great power comes great responsibility" , all of you reading this blog comes under those 2% Indians that have internet access which means that you have some potentials in you & you should use it for the welfare of society. Nobody can change you against your will, but without giving it a try i dont want to be called a loser.

http://www.youthforseva.org/

i m a kid !!!

Today i introspected myself to find out what can be reason people might think i am childish.

1) I dont take decisions, because i have lack of confidence to do so.
2) I dont take things for granted, i look for confirmation.
3)I look for straight yes or straight no.
4)I think myself in place of other & then compare the situation.

5*) I judge people by silly activites, dressing & routine. That's very childish i know but cant help it.

6*) I demand a lot, I want people to give me attention, take me seriously, answer my every questions, bear my criticism, get scolded when they are wrong, read my blogs daily, dont mind if i cross the line. its like i want them to do what i would like to do with our friends.

7*) I behave like stubborn child when want to tell others that I am right. I sometimes impose my verdict.

8)I think a lot & i take most of the things seriously.
9)Sometimes I only think about myself, forget someone else's feelings.
10) I am contradictory by nature as u can see in these points as well.

I know all about me. but cant help it. i need good friends like you to bear me & help me out to make me mature.

Many of my friends have told me that i am a kid, but i never agreed them, but today when someone new told me that. i had to agree with that.

i tell you i was even more worse than today, i have improved a lot & i will, just bear with me.

Its Time To Heel Your Life

I am looking for an answer why do i always back off when it comes to express my feelings? After these many years now i have figured out that words are no less powerfull then the feelings. Words can alter your's as well as others life.

Everyone has respect & love for their parents, but how many of the us have uttered so. Have anyone among us have ever told our mother that "dont worry, I will take care of you" or hugged our dad when he is in trouble. we (at least i) feel awkward to do so.
you might disagree on the last point saying that in family or especially with parents you dont need to say anything, they already know you well. But still if you express them i assure you they will get rejuvenated. This works like a catalyst for the process we call bondage.

Feeling sad when your friend lost his job, but not saying any word will not going to help him at all. we generally think this may hurt his pride. But if you are a true friend you should take this risk. If your intensions are good, he will not misunderstand you. Again who will tell him your intension, you tell him. Never feel shy in saying silly things like that.

Sometimes we dont appreciate someone's work or we dont congratulate one on his success partly because we think it doesn't matter to him & partly because of some fear. I think if you say something in words you become more firm on that. If you keep repeating some false believe, one day that is going to be inhibit in you.

All I want to convey is that dont pile up love, respect, praise & all deep inside your head, say it. If you are not doing so, you will have blood relations as they come by birth, but not the one made by you because they require verbal confirmation.

I am already suffering with this syndrome. but i want you to overcome the same in you. Become shameless and express your feelings to your family, friends and love (if you have one).

Journey to the "chocola-tea" ooty *

After planning over more than 6 month, our group, a collection of unique samples called NAMUNAS(idiots) from all around the UP agreed to go see the ooty. We put all the responsibility on the shoulders of one south Indian macha, the only sensible guy in our group. I being no less smart than macha helped him plan for our journey.

We left the office just after the lunch, the only cause we went to office that day. At 3'o clock we boarded the bus to erode, the native place of macha. Most of the people in our group don't know how to entertain themselves in English so we let macha get bored throughout the journey. Around 9'o clock we were taking delicious south Indian homemade food & sweet in macha's home like we will never taste them again & i am sure we won't.

We were being driven towards ooty in the early hours of hot & humid morning of TN. this time we allowed macha to play tamil songs as well. We halted at few places to empty our bladder, imparting fertility to TN soil. I was the first to remove the shirt as it was all wet, others followed. We visited park in coonoor district and then drove off for ooty. In the Afternoon we were asking for lodges and hotels. Soon we got one which suited our needs and limitations both. Toilet was not up to our expectation, but we didn't care.

That day we went for boating in some lake. After playing few games over there we left for rose garden. Nature was conspiring to force we people live single till marriage ie why all roses were gone when we visited rose garden. That night we dined at one costly restaurant, costly because you can easily get better quality food at some OK restaurant in Bangalore.

If a place becomes tourist spot, local public finds thousands of way for their livelihood. They start selling local food, clothes, vegetables, fruits. Not all the places we visited there had nothing to be called special. We bought some homemade chocolates for our loved one's while roaming in the streets of ooty in that chilled night. We almost went astray from our hotel. That night we played cards till dawn.

Second day started with visiting the peak of TN, that's what i was told by macha, followed by visiting a tea factory. Actually we have a tea freak among us & he wanted to acknowledge tea business growing by leaps and bounds because of his contribution. We visited a hell lot of places meaningless to mention in the blog of a genius.

We did carting, bumpy cars, air hockey, 3d rotation & whatever that came on our way. On the return journey few jerks among us complained about vomiting, loose motion and unfortunately macha could not escape from this.

Tamilian may not be knowing hindi but they carry the hindu culture more than any hindi speaking family. Macha's family left zero stone unturned to welcome us. I hardly care about the food and facilities but i do care about the one's involvement and love. And i must say i wasn't disappointed.

In the end i got a lesson, never to be haste in booking the tickets as I booked the tickets for the train departing 1 day before. Lazy Indians want all pieces of cake without moving their ass and never let go any chance of blaming the leaders.

As a whole, journey was fantastic because something is always better than nothing. I hope i was not much illustrative this time to make you skip reading this post.

* Blog Title indicates that OOTY is known for chocolates & tea.

Fools day : My Bday : story behind this particular date

If you think that fools day is justifiable because at least one of the fool in your acquaintance was born on this day then you will be wrong, because my real Bday falls on September.
Being born in sep 85, why would someone make oneself 6 months older in papers, i am going to explain.

you might be aware of the fact that i skipped two class years in my childhood. In my time it was compulsory to be 14 years old to be eligible for high school examination.

so when we went for admission for class 6 in BNSD, they refused to accept me because i was 6 month lagging to 9 years. in order to get admitted in BNSD & in order to appear in high school, they pushed the date & time 6 months back in records.

had i not been told you that i skipped two classes then probably you would have thought that i started schooling inside the womb, 6 months before the day i was born.

A Sister's Sacrifice

As now a days I am disclosing lots of pages of my life, today I am gonna write about the most precious gift from the GOD even before I was born.

Although my all four sisters have their contribution & role in making me what i am today (a partially successful engineer), but one among them has major role in that. And I referred her as the most precious gift, who is the middle one among we 5.

I was the youngest one in my family, parent's love made me cruel, stupid & stubborn (now i m not). Now I repent for hitting my sisters in my childhood, as I can't ask for their forgiveness. but i suppose if you acknowledge your mistakes then you don’t need any more forgiveness.

Your primary education should starts from your family. Stories at night hours make the foundation of one's character. And that was done well from my mom & sisters. but it was way too hard for my family to make me aware of the Hindi/English alphabets & first introduction with numbers. Voluntarily my middle sister studying in 8th took the responsibility in her hands.

The proposal that she put before me seemed very lucrative at that time, it didn't involve money, sweets or chocolates. I can bet you cannot guess it. What else could have made one over-loved child to focus on numbers.

That proposal was "I can hit her before I write one page". You may not agree with this saying that this is wrong & negative tendency & may create the cracks in one's foundation. But you will be wrong because education is that tool from which you can rebuild someone character (look at me).

So my primary education continued that way. I was sharp minded but unfocused. Just like a sharp nail cannot be fixed into the wall if it is not straight, I needed someone to make me aware of my capabilities exactly in the way Jamwant used to do for Hanuman.

It was not like I always hit her before reading, but when I wanted to play & wanted to leave studies then that proposal used to come into action. Can you do this much for someone? Moreover she was class 8th student, naive enough not to take such decisions with her life. At that age child are more sensitive. They don’t want to get hit or get insulted by someone younger than them.

Whatever knowledge I have gained till now & achievements like above 80% marks in 10th, merit in 12th, good rank in aieee, all would have not been possible without that sacrifice & devotion.

Not only in my childhood I needed that hand in later classes as well, she used to take my book & used to ask me anything from it.

I was to appear in high school examinations, my middle sister was engaged the same year. Everybody wanted marriage to happen in feb-mar, as it is the most suitable & cost effective time to arrange a function. She came forward for my welfare & insisted to get married in June to make sure my exams don’t get affected even a bit.

Today she is mother of two children but i am sure my share of love has not been divided among them & I hold larger stake of that.

Naruto : Nan Datta Bayo

Dont ignore this post just because either you dont like animation or you hate only naruto. I am going to narrate in brief what it all talks about.

Series Naruto focuses on the life beyond your family, ie your friends, love, teachers & society. Their importance in one's life, their expection from you & your expectations from them. It tells you how one's nature gets affected by all these factors.

1) everyone want to be acknowledged by someone. if one doesn't get that in his family he seeks it outside. if he doesn't get it anywhere he starts hating the society.

2) have good friends, allow your friend to do anything if you goes wrong. Always keep in mind that they will not do anything that may hurt you.

3) teacher are one's good friends, give them respect & love.

4) Go beyond your limit to save your friend if he is misled from his path.

5) in Naruto every ninja has His Own way of ninja, meaning thereby they have set one purpose in life. eg 'i will never let my friend down' , ' I will fullfil my promises no matter what' , 'I will help others' , 'I will acknowledge everyone positively'

6) Think beyond the family. think about the whole village, it's security, it's development, it's people.

7) love bonds are important in life. be it a friend, be it a teacher. dont try to break them.

8) keep trying till your last breath. you may fail 100 times, but you will definetly going to win 101th time.

Getting into bnsd: STORY BEHIND THE LINES

I already told that I got admission with the grace of college president, now read the story behind the bars, how that happened.

Papa & his friend "sharma ji " approached "pt. ram balak mishra", president of college committee but renowned advocate by profession at his residence. They had my result along with a hand written application in mother tounge. My college is backed by RSS, and all its founders are successful hindus, more inclined towards religion. Mr president (sound like he is president of usa) was busy worshipping that time.

My father & sharma uncle met him in his office & gave the application. They requested him to do whatever he can possibly do. Money matters everywhere, but not with RSS. thay dont ask for money, they ask for class room construction like things which requires hell lot of money. Anyway we didn't have money to donate in any form so they simply put the application and requested to consider it.

I forgot to tell you that people associated with RSS gives extra attention to you if you touch their feet (a traditional greeting from our ancestors). So both the visitor did that, Mr president was enough old for that in his 70's.

Mr president said "I wont be able to do anything because it's upto principal to allow exceptions". But you know great people (even if they pretend to be) says these words out of courtsey. he said "what would I do if everyone from the wait list comes & ask for admission". Visitors were passing smile on all his comments to show him respect. finally he threw the application to the other side of the table & requested them to leave. Dad & sharma ji took the application and with all respect touched his feet again and opened the exit door. I guess touching the feet again caused miracle & forced him to change his mind. Old rich people,when they demand respect from their children, gets disappointment in turn. Mr president was touched by the cultural heritage my dad & uncle were carrying, as they did not forget to greet the person even after application was neglected by the same person.

He called them back before they exit, made them seated & signed the application without saying any single word.

Getting into BNSD

Today I dont have anything to write so I will tell you how I got admission in the best school of Uttar pradesh.

From the beginning I was not super smart in studies. Although I used to top in my first school, but being a local public school i dont give myself any credit to top there. I joined the school in KG & skipped 3rd standard , may be because my parents were very enthusiatic to see me grown up at early as possible.

For two years I prepared for entrance examinations to get into the best college in the city Kanpur, which is now the education hub in Uttar pradesh. I wrote test for 3 colleges, first's result announced me getting 47th rank out of some 500 to 600 children. I was not selected in the second one (around 2k woould have participated ) & I was waiting number 4 in the third one among 1500-1600 participients. (the number of students appeared shows the status of the college)

The college in which I was in waiting list is currently the best college in UP. My father decided to get me admitted into that. fourth in waiting list was not easy if around 1500 students were fighting to get into class 6. But all of them didn't have father like mine. He approached president of the organisation, which runs the college. All I can guess now is that considering the circumstances I managed to get to waiting 4 & strong desire of my father to make his child study there, manager himself ensured my admission.

My family was short of 600 bucks for admission charges & that has to be done the same day, otherwise my seat would have be given to someone else. so one of my friends father helped us & that's how I got into the best college in UP, despite being ok ok in the studies. ie's why i always give full credit to my father's will power, my mother's prayers & my sister's struggle & dedication just to see me studying in the best college.

http://www.bnsdsnic.org/

As i know she has gone through my blog and i cudn't thank her, so this is an apology for that. may god make her see this one as well.

random thoughts at random

from the day first indian film "raja harishchandra| was completed, 98% of the movies were made on the love theme, but still i dont see love spread among we indians.

Thousands of people have died due to communal riots. mordern terrorism has taken many lifes in young india. I know that around 60% of indians are still struggling for basic neccesities of life, but how can that make us forget our bonds?

currently India has two generations, older one still lives in india in its teenage, they consider love marriage, valentine day, alcohal consumption, fashion clothes as part of western civilization & refuses to adopt this. While young generation is willing to change itself according to the world. This difference between generation is weakening the bonds between us.

Few mistakes of my life

Dont you think that i am gonna praise that sucking novel by some freak, i would not do that even when someone put a pistol right between my eyes & forces me to do that. I am gonna tell you some common mistakes i did & learnt how to avoid that in future (unlike the natural disaster, premarital affair & religional riots in the novel) these are very silly mistakes which i dont want to repeat that's it.

1) shutting the door without acknowledging the presence of someone : my this mistake took one life. incident happened in college bathroom. I closed the door with full power & transformed one 3d lizard to 2d layer. extending this to human life, you can break somebody's nose, some child's finger at the hindge. so always take your time to see the door before you close it.

2)Talking to policeman : dont talk to strangers that you think they may be less educated. I cant discuss it, but just avoid talking to strangers in your journey.

3)taking the money out from ATM: be extra careful while doing so, keep your hands ready to take the money as well as the atm card as soon as they appear. because it they go back to machine, you will have to spend your precious time & money both

4)dropping the checks : dont wait for last 3 days to drop your check. do it 7 days before. so that in case something happens to your first check, you can drop another in the last 4 days.

I M IN ....

Hey guys, you wont believe that now i also know what love is. from the last 5-6 days someone is contineously in my mind. I am just not able to resist myself from visiting her profile. oh god!! what has happened to me. once i was a femalophobic guy & now?? holy shit,

I dont want to be like that, but I am not doing anything so how can i stop it. having feelings is not bad but not been able to express them is really bad. when i know very well that i will never ever able to say anything to her, my heart keeps saying 'just try it once say it , say it once'.

fellas, u all already know how backward man am i, so is my family. plz dont think that i am longing for marriage. there is nth like that, it is true love from 60's, onesided for always. this is not the girl which made me like that, it is her personality that influenced me deeply.

she has all the qualities i either possess or want to possess. had she been a boy i definately would have made him my friend. had she been an aged man, i would have bowed to him. i dont want to miss the opportunity of getting such a wonderful treasure of virtues, but alas i m helpless. god also help those who try. but i cant try until god do some miracle.

i wish she read my blog & understand by herself. i know its probabilty is too less, but frankly speaking i m too fatoo to propose a girl & i m too backward to marry a girl i love.

EXPERIENCE OF A LIFETIME

Life is full of events, some good, some bad, some interesting, some boring & some awfully unexpected. But probably you won’t call it life if it doesn’t have any change. Life plays with you, it tests you at every moment how good or bad you perform. After all life is life, you can’t change it, you can’t ignore it. You don’t have choice of whether you go along with it or not. Good moments last forever, bad too. Happy times may give you joy, but those are the bad times that gives you strength, that gives you hope, that forces you to believe in God. Tragic moments of your life gives you experience that can be shared. And that’s what i am going to say now.

Throughout my whole life I have been horrified even by the thought of getting admitted into the hospital & getting injected a long syringe. But recently i had my appendicitis operation done. If you Google it, you will come to know that it's a medical emergency that can happen to anyone at anytime. Good thing about this is that it cannot happen again because being useless part, doctor removes it from your body.

Day 1: Nightmare in the night

It was Thursday. Thursday was the special meal day. I opened the Tiffin, there was puri, chola & saivaiyaan were there. I don’t hesitate a bit to tell others about my love for sweets. I love sweet more than i love myself. I cleaned all the bowls completely from my tongue & then I went for a small drink. I am considered to be one of the backward people of young India because neither I smoke nor I touch liquor. For me drink means one cup of hot milk with two teaspoons of sugar. My tummy was full & there was no space for anything other than sweets. From 11’o clock the movie show begins in my room & that night i was playing a fantasy drama stardust, which got a rating of 10 in my imdb list after the show. Show finished with a happy ending, crowning a stupid man after finding his true love in a star. Like the smoke from an agarbatti the pain started in my stomach. Getting pain in night was not new for me. I had experienced similar pain in the past couple of years after taking spicy food & I did night out every time i had pain. So I was ready for another night out. You may wonder how one can spend whole night with pain, so I will tell you how. All you have to do is to indulge your mind in some other activity like movie, songs etc. For such situation one of my friend has another way out. He transfers the pain from that location to other, obviously by creating larger pain somewhere else. In order to move attention from my stomach I played music right into in year in full volume. But that night nothing did help me. I kept on turning left right up down, legs over tummy, head over knee, knee over stomach, but all went in vain. I was not willing to consider it as a new pain, but by that time one thing was obvious that it was not exactly the same. That night was not just a mere night out, it was full of pain. Now I know it was appendix pain, that is known to be worst of it’s kind. In the morning I was barely able to move properly. I am known for my determination at least in my family & among friends, so just not to disappoint them I took a quick bath & dialled few numbers.

Day 2: Disease Revealed

Thanks to me I am good at numbers, particularly phone numbers. I have a good habit of populating my contact list by all the phone numbers that passes by my sight. If you are not aware of the city hospitals much, then generally you don’t experiment by visiting them and you trust only big names like Apollo, wockhardt etc (I don’t know no more names). Now a day’s most of the hospitals accept credit cards like all other merchants. Credit cards make your life easier until you pay their bills on time. Being familiar to Apollo I called it first to beg for an appointment with the doctor. This is good in a way that it saves your time waiting for your turn among all sorts of patients. Hospital environment itself, irrespective of how reputed they are makes you sick if not physically then at least physiologically. To my surprise doctors are busy at this time of recession and I could not get an appointment at Apollo. I dialled wockhardt for the same and easily got one at 10Am. Wockhardt is still struggling in India, I don’t know which brand is bigger but I do know that Wockhardt has world class pharmacy too. Although I tried sometimes but I could not gallop anything even water. I took an auto, the cheapest and the only ride in Bangalore. I met the lady doctor at 10Am. After coming to Bangalore I have never consulted any male doctor. Each time I went with some ailment, I came across with some lady doctor in her forties with such a motherly attitude that touched me in depth. Guessing it to be appendicitis doctor wrote three tests ultrasound, cbc and urine. I was too lucky to get an appointment in radiology department for ultrasound. Had I been next in the queue I would have suffered with that pain for next four days. Being unable to find the washroom in the very first visit of wockhardt I vomited on the floor itself. After that I noticed people keeping extra space on passing me by like I was volcano that can burst anytime. If you are the accused you have to bear the rage and anger of the public, similarly if you are the victim you have to bear the consolation, pity and sympathy by the same public bestows on you. I had severe pain in my abdomen but I couldn’t stop radiologist from pressing that hard because I knew that only will help him debug my case. After fifteen minutes of tearful pain, I was told that I had 9mm appendicitis. As I told before this is considered as an medical emergency because if it burst it poisons the whole intestine creating hell lot of complications. I was immediately forwarded to the physician. There I was told that I need an immediate surgery. I was not prepare for that neither mentally nor financially. But nobody has a choice when it comes to their own life. That day I met a surgeon, took an appointment for surgery to be done the next day. I was suggested to be on liquid diet. Be it a operation, be it liquids all needed money, but I have the advantage of a credit card which is spend today think or regret tomorrow. I needed to get someone pay for me without expecting any return, so I called my insurance company for help. I have spend hours of my life attending their calls, letting them explain their health policy, now it was my turn to annoy them and judge their service. With the help of hospital staff, I mailed them form for cashless hospitalisation. They wanted 12 hours to approve or decline it. I started taking liquid to keep me going because I was not on leave that day. I went to office as it was software release day and I had my check-ins pending for the last hour. From there I kept calling insurance customer care to accelerate my application, telling them my severe condition. I didn’t realise until that day that getting insurance is far easier than getting the cover. They set-up thousands of agents to annoy you on phone and somehow convince you to buy their policy and when it comes to cover someone they again annoy you from the engage tone of single customer care number. I also cleared all my pending credit cards bills.

Day 3: The `First time’ day

Operation was to be carried out in the evening. Insurance company approved my application and released 40k. I got myself admitted in the hospital at 3Pm. One of my friends gave me his company that day. Friends are the only hope when no kith is around. I would admire myself by saying that my friend circle is more or less unbounded, but very few are close to centre and you don’t need them all the time. I have set my expectation (inversely related to radial distance) for each of them and nobody disappoints me. I was given new clothes with no metallic object. I indulged myself in photo shooting. Human want to capture time and I am none other. You may question why did I capture the bad time of mine? Because bad time gives you Strength to fight, hope for good, belief in God, experience to face it again. But this doesn’t mean that I wish to face them. I just want to enjoy them too like good ones. It was already 3:30, at 6 I was to be operated, so they started inquiring my body. I told them proudly that I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I never had sugar, BP or any kind of disease in the past. Anaesthesia doctor told me that they will anaesthetise my whole body. Then I encountered a nurse, who came to me with a large machine, capable of measuring various signals of my body and print them. There are very few professions I give respect from my heart. Nursing and teaching are on the top. Former because it makes you wish well being of some strange patient and later because it makes you to reveal everything you know. I can’t explain why I think that both these profession are best suited for women. Then there comes the frightening scene of large syringe. I had bad dreams on this in my childhood days. Sister came with a drip and inserted 4 cm long syringe into my Y shaped vein of the left hand. Now I wonder how and when I developed resistance for that. May be growing old comes with such gifts. May be it was not that horrifying as my little mind manipulated it. It could be the nurse effect also as the nurse was passing a sweet smile while doing this, which gave me power to conquer over this fear. For the first time in my life my veins were getting the energy from outside the body. Cold glucose was flowing along with blood and so does chilling sensation. Sister told me that next part is body preparation. I thought they might put some lotion in my stomach like they do in ultrasound. Then a forty plus man entered into the ward, he asked my friend to step out and downed the curtains. Then he removed my clothes and fitted blade in his razor. For the first time I was lying naked in a room with at least five peoples and one of them staring at me. This was also the first time someone was accessing the places that were forbidden for others. That was the most humiliating part as I have never thought that I would go naked for someone other than my future spouse. I would say that was my worst time ever and I don’t want to experience it again. Had I known this in advance I would have done this for myself, but bad time doesn’t knocks at the door they just burst upon you. Half of my body from chest till knee was hair free. After this I was given a apron like cloth to wear it. Now it became obvious that worst time was not over it will persist until operation is completed. Hiding my privacy with full efforts I laid down in a stretcher and wrapped blanket around. I was moving toward OT. My heart was beating like I have seen any crime happening before my eyes. On the way I was asked to move from one stretcher to another. Which I did very carefully & unwillingly as I was completely nude in that ribbon less apron, but thankfully I had blanket to cover me. My two year old sacred thread on my right hand was shown the way to dustbin. OT was chilled because of AC or my inside was shivering because of cold drip, I couldn’t figure out. Thermal engineering helped me conquer my shiver. A big heater possibly electronic started giving hot air directly inside my blanket. What happened afterward I can only guess now. They would have mixed anaesthesia in the drip and I lost consciousness along with all shame, shiver, fear and excitement. Losing consciousness was also my first time experience. When I regained my senses I found myself being monitored by a machine that was measuring BP and some signals at every five minute interval and continuously respectively. They put some adhesive bandage in my chest to take control of the pain anywhere in my body. First thing I did was pressing my stomach slightly to get to know the pain, stitches & most importantly fullness. By fullness I mean precious organs inside the body. In a country like India anything can happen anytime, anyplace. I was perplexed when I found out there are no cuts, no stitches nothing. At first I wondered they actually removed appendicitis or not, but feeble pain in abdomen was proof for that. Monitoring was to be done for two full hours, so I started capturing myself with that machine in my 2mp camera. I was admitted in a 3 tier room but as the funds were released I was upgraded to 2 tier room. Tonight I was not allowed to take anything from mouth. ‘Not a big deal’, I assured myself and closed my eyes to dream for the better tomorrow with no pain. That day I broke all my records of having maximum first time experiences in a day.

Day 4: Fire in the hole: Get Set Go

I was ready to drink whatever I wished, so wised for various juices. They gave me soup, dal-pani etc which I managed to drink somehow. Doctor visited me and told for a bath. Science was constantly giving be shock again and again. I had operation 12 hr ago and I was been told to take a complete bath. I walked few steps , mocking the patient’s pace. I made myself prepare to inform my family about this whole thing. You have to be strong to convince your parents that you are well and there is nothing to worry about. I kicked my shit out of my ass and took a shower. Then I didn’t put the remote down that day.

So this was the whole new experience of my life, which I am sharing with all you guys. I want to sincerely thank to insurance company and my friends to help me winning this battle with life.